The Chase for Beauty

Hello,

I’m writing to you from the little known town of Ridgway, Pennsylvania. When I was thirteen years old, I lost my older and only brother to a fatal drug overdose. In towns like these, drug abuse is rampant. I think when most people think of the word “drugs”, they think of big cities, but, drug abuse in small towns is sky high. My brother was a heroin addict, he died when he was twenty-one. My older sister, was also using heroin at the time, and has been off and on ever since.

The devastation my family went through, and is still going through, from this trauma is unbelievable. I have spent time in and out of mental health facilities, trying to cope with my loss. The struggle to gain control brought out the manic-depressive in me, and I have been on medication for years.

I am now a 24 year old woman, who, by the grace of God, has never been involved with drugs or alcohol. I took a positive road, enrolling at Penn State to major in treating addicts. My home phone number is like a hotline for people needing help, and although my days are spent working to improve the quality of lives for others, in the end I feel so blessed to be making a difference in my community.

About four years ago, I became very ill. I was diagnosed with a disease in my spinal column, which breaks down the discs in my back and neck until they shatter. My muscles throughout my body are deteriorating, and my bones and joints are starting to give. There are days when I am bed bound, and on days like these, it takes every bit of mental strength not to take my own life. But, I have to have faith in the reasoning behind it. Every time I feel like I’m ready to give up, someone calls for help. And by someone calling my name out, it’s almost like angels telling me, “Hey, we ain’t ready for you to leave yet. We need you here. Stick around and see.” So I do.

God bless,
S. F.